Rugby Club the Smugglers
Rugby Club the Smugglers

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Mrs Hairy Cunt Pie

(American pie)

Twas many years ago . . .
I can still remember how the furries used to make me feel.
Every time I had a chance
To slip my fingers down her pants
I'd always finger something that was real.
But lately they've been feeling slicker
Underneath the frilly knickers.
From navel clear to clit-hood
I cannot feel adulthood.
I can't remember if I cried
When I fingered out my hairless bride.
And though I touched her deep inside
I miss her hairy-pie.


Bye-bye, Mrs. hairy-cunt pie
Yes I'll finger and I'll linger
Till you come with a *sigh*
And I'll lick your slit to keep you from going dry
But I really miss your hairy cunt pie
I really miss your hairy cunt pie.

Where's it writ in the book of love
And a'who decided the fact of
A bald labia's the way to go?
Or do you believe in hairy hole?
Can merkins be the way to go?
I can teach you how to eat one real slow..

Well, you know I loved that hairy quim
Loved to feel those pubics on my chin
As I licked her clit and chew
I'd pull on her fuzzy mons too!

And with any kinda stinkin' luck
My hard erection she would start to suck
And then I know I'd get to fuck
I'd fuck her hairy pie.

But now I'm singin'

For many years I have had to moan
While hairless cunt has massaged my bone
But that's not how it used to be...
When my Queen used to strip and pose for me
With a cunt that glistened gloriously
Juices caught, that lingered sexily.

Oh, but while her King was out of town
The Mistress shaved her pubies down,
And soon the Master learned
The pain of stubble burn.
And while Mistress tried to use some Nair
To melt away that stubborn hair
The Master sang dirges in despair
He missed her hairy pie.

He was singing

Helter Skelter in a summer swealter
Vacationing in a beach-front shelter
Island maids are walking past...
As they sway my way I can get a flash
Through swaying skirts that are made of grass
Oh a boner! I can see some hairy gash!

In the night-time air the bonfire plumed
And the hula band played out of tune
I didn't mind at all
I was having quite a ball.
'Cause the dancer's hips swished and then revealed
The sight that made my senses reel
I squeezed my boner, had a feel
I saw some hairy pie

I kept on singing

Now, in my dreams I'm in some place
A Next Generation Trek in space
On a Klingon world I'm lost again...
But I am nimble, I am quick
I figured out every Klingon trick
But one caught me, a female with a grin.

But, what she did...a tale of the age
She bumped and grinded like on the stage
And Klingons have, you see
Built in redundancy.
And as she danced there in the night
Revealed to me, to my delight
Oh what a joy, oh what a sight!
She had two hairy pies!

She started singing

I asked my wife one summer morn
If she would consider going unshorn
But she just smiled and walked away.
I booted up my ISP
Some hairy quim's I hoped to see
But my jpegs and my mpegs wouldn't play...

So in my chair I sat and cried.
My dearest wish had been denied.
My kinky heart was broken
No more would I be strokin'.
The kinkiness I admire the most
Hairy cunts as brown as toast
They've all poofed out just like a ghost.
I miss the hairy pie.

I am forever singing

Lyrics by Kevin van Houten

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